Gary Nelson’s Emotional Manipulation of Students: A Single Death is a Tragedy, A Million Deaths is a Statistic
15th September 2011
written by Dan Oudshoorn
In light of Tyndale’s ongoing refusal to provide any verification that they have, in fact, completely withdrawn from receiving any money raised in conjunction with George W. Bush (leading some to wonder if they have simply withdrawn their official affiliation with the event while still planning on unofficially profiting from Bush speaking with a group of folks assembled by the CEO of Fairfax), it is worth reflecting further on how Tyndale’s President, Gary Nelson, has chosen to respond to the actions taken thus far (Gary has yet to respond to my phone call and my email address has also been publicly posted at Tyndale so I feel that it is fair game to post this here, since I can’t talk about this with him in person).
I was up at Tyndale yesterday with a friend and we were chatting with some students, faculty and staff and distributing some information (before Security kicked us out – interesting aside: as I was leaving, the Security Guard also threatened to physically assault me and I had to tell him multiple times not to touch me). Several students reported to us that Gary Nelson had called in impromptu “town hall” meeting of the school. According to the students, Gary cried in front of the assembly, stated that he was going through a hard time and was quite stressed out, that a close friend of his had died, and that (in part, due to this mess that he created around Bush) he had not been able to say his last farewells to this friend. It was reported that Gary then went on to express his disappointment that Tyndale was not yet at a place that was ready to handle this sort of event.
I find the ways in which Gary chose to emotionally manipulate the students to be quite appalling. Rather than addressing the issue at hand or taking responsibility for his own actions, confessing that he had made some mistakes (it was reported that he also confessed that the planning for this event had taken place over a rather long period of time, so much of this could have been avoided if he had not chosen to try and keep the event secret from the broader community; furthermore, if he had chosen to respond to any of the multiple phone and email queries he has received from some of us and had spoken clearly and unequivocally, much of this could have been avoided), he chose to try and make himself the object of affection and sympathy.
However, what is more telling is Gary’s tears for his friend compared with what appears to be a remarkable cold-heartedness related to the millions of people who have been killed, left homeless, tortured, impoverished, disabled, traumatised and incarcerated due to policies, laws, and declarations signed or made by Bush. I don’t imagine that Gary had any intention of weeping before George Bush on behalf of all those whom Bush helped to kill. Stalin’s remark – “A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic” – seems quite apropos here. Yet one would want to expect more of a follower of a crucified Messiah and a President of a Christian institution. While I am genuinely saddened to learn of Gary’s loss, I only wish that he was also saddened by the losses others have experienced at the behest of an American President who continues to boast of the violence he has created in this world.
While Gary may be disappointed that the broader Tyndale community was not yet ready to welcome an unrepentant murderer, who may yet be indicted for war crimes (and who would undoubtedly be indicted if he had acted in the same way as a leader of a nation in the two-thirds world), I cannot help but express my disappointment in Gary. I am disappointed and I am puzzled. If he is really done with this event, if Tyndale now stands to gain no money from an event related to Bush, why does he not openly say this? Why does he equivocate and refuse to engage in any sort of dialogue with the questions and comments that have been made by myself and my peers? Are not academic institutions supposed to be places that welcome dialogue and thoughtful discussion? All this could be over and done with if Gary confirmed that what he has led the student body to believe is, in fact, the truth. Yet he refuses to speak. So we continue to act.
How quickly we forget to do as our Saviour taught us to, and let our foolish pride and lofty opinions get in the way of God’s providence over all things, rather than taking into account the fact that we have been taught to love our enemies and not to judge, lest we be judged (Luke 6:27-37). Pray for Tyndale, Gary Nelson, George W. Bush, and all others involved, rather than spreading hate and causing dissension.
Amen, brother.
Regardless of whether or not we agree with Bush speaking at Tyndale, it is not okay to attack Dr. Nelson like has been done in this article.
Though I initially was in support of this petition, I’m finding myself less and less aligned with the message this site is sending.
Am I pleased with Tyndale’s initial invite of Bush? Most definitely not.
Am I pleased with their reaction to negative response? No.
Am I willing to accuse Dr. Nelson of emotional manipulation? Not a bit.
i can disagree with his views, but I will not attack the sincerity of a man grieving the death of a friend. Whether or not you agree with the professionalism of his announcement, the attack in this article is very disheartening.
I wish this had STAYED a peaceful protest. Peacefulness is more than just refraining from physical violence; I believe it includes a measure of grace as well.
Hi Jordyn,
I don’t think there is a single message — “the message” — represented on this site. What you see are a group of people who all have different perspectives on the matter (on how to approach it, on what to say or not say, what to do or not do, and so on), but who have a common commitment and so are attempting to work together. I suspect the same is true of all those who signed the position. Just compare my post with the recent post by JT.
The views represented in this piece are my own. I bring my own history to this issue — I’ve been involved in “justice” type work (personally, professionally, and academically) for more than a dozen years and this has led me to some conclusions and to certain ways speaking which sometimes makes others a bit more uncomfortable. So be it. I’m not just shooting from the hip here. In fact, in my own journey, pivotal changes have often been produced by statements or events that at first made me angry or disappointed (I remember when I first read the Latin American liberation theologians and though: “Does God really have a preferential option for the poor? Doesn’t God love everybody equally?” but, ah, I was young then–inexperienced and uninformed).
So, hey, I don’t expect everybody to think exactly as I think. But life-giving changes only tend to be produced when people set aside some of their differences — in relation to rhetoric, ideology, faith and so forth — and work together for a shared goal (don’t know if you read any of the Continental philosophers and social theorists but Hardt and Negri as well as Deleuze and Guattari talk about this sort of rhizomatic coming-together of the multitude in some detail). As far as I can tell, our shared goal on this matter is to prevent Bush from speaking at a Tyndale-related event (accomplished) and to stop Tyndale from accepting money raised at a Bush-related event (undetermined if this has been accomplished or not… which means probably not… like I said, I’ve been around for awhile and have seen this sort of rhetorical game-playing before).
Grace and peace to you.
You sound so bitter.
You know, I don’t think I’m all that bitter these days. There was a time when I was younger when I first awakened to what goes on in our world and thought that people would try to do things differently if only they knew what was going on (and I thought this would be especially true of Christians)… but then I realized that is generally not the cause (regardless of whether or not people are Christians).
So, the emotions that tend to define me are awe (at the beauty and wonder of life, of God, of love…) and broken-heartedness (at the ways in which people act in the service of Death, at the ways in which people allow fear to dominate their lives, at the ways in which people play all sorts of ideological games to justify self-serving ways of living…). So I try to serve that which is life-giving and oppose that which is death-dealing. But, hey, I’ve got a long way to go down that road.
Grace and peace to you, too, Mike.
Fair enough, sir. My only thought would be this: if you really want to see change in the leadership at Tyndale, make sure that you find something in them to be ‘for’ rather than just opposing what you’re ‘against’. In the other posts directed to Gary Nelson, you can see support for him, and still a clear stance against this event. In this post, the support for him isn’t really evident. Just my 2 cents.
I seriously have to question the motivations of the writer of this article. One of the objections towards the appearance of former President Bush was because he influenced conflict in the middle east. The writer of this piece almost seems to be driven to cause conflict among the students, staff, faculty and alumni of Tyndale University College and Seminary. We as a community must become united not tear each other down. I pray for unity among our students, staff, faculty and alumni. Also that we might all give grace to and forgive one another for all that has happened over the course of the last week.
I also completely disagree with the author’s posture on this. The decision was made to post articles, opinions etc about the event from any source who submitted – views expressed are only those of the authors, not those who moderate the site. Please do disagree or write your own post and we’ll put it up.
This post goes WAY to far, and reading it makes me sad. You are minimizing Gary’s grief and questioning his sincerity to (try to) prove a point, and on top of that you are bullying him, which is bad enough on it’s own, but you are doing it at what is clearly a tough time for him.
You want him to grieve for a million people, but you won’t give him time to grieve for one? Have you never lost someone close to you? It takes precedence over your job. I love social justice, and support this petition, but this post is dick.
I completely stand by what Daniel (Hainaut) just stated. It is okay to hold an opinion, to disagree with one another, and to encourage healthy discussion. However, it is NOT okay to lash out against one another in a manner that is intended to cause dissension and conflict. When simple defense and discussion turns into threats, personal attacks, hatred and speech and action rooted in anger, pride and selfish motives, something has gone terribly wrong. Realize that we, as Christians, are called to live with humility, with a desire for peace-making, and with a Christ-like love extended to ALL (which just so happens to include Dr. Gary Nelson as well as George W. Bush).
Regardless of your opinions on the topic at hand, we should all be extending grace, as grace is shown to each of us on a daily basis.
And I, also, strongly encourage everyone to pray for Dr. Gary Nelson, for George W. Bush, for the Tyndale staff, faculty, and community, and for all others involved.
This post is dick. Period.
Good job grandstanding throughout the post, much like you have been more than willing to do within the media.
It’s one thing to voice your displeasure over a controversial figure, it’s something completely different to call into question the values and intentions of Mr. Nelson.
Who gives you that right? Or is it one of your divine rights from God, along with limiting the speech of those who disagree with.
The irony is you say a Bush appearance is not in the spirit of the university, and yet this post and your actions are?
Again, this post is dick and apparently so are you.
I find your lack of faith disturbing.
Also, if a security guard has to touch you, he is probably doing his job and you are probably doing something wrong.
“Also, if a security guard has to touch you, he is probably doing his job and you are probably doing something wrong”
would you tell that to your children?
By the way my last post is a quote from the late great Darth Vader.
Though there seems to be some lack of sympathy/empathy on the part of the writer I think some of these posts are missing the point. As the author pointed out the lack of communication on Dr. Nelson’s part is what created the mess. Had there been communication and had the community been given time to process and respond he wouldn’t have had a mess in the first place. The lack of remorse for mistakes made on Dr. Nelson’s part in the Town Hall and his unprofessional behaviour – talking about the death of a friend and crying during Town Hall – makes it seem like a bit of a red herring intended to garner sympathy rather than talk about the deeper issues around the breakfast. I get where the author is coming from, and it is important to recognize that before you return at attack his character. I think that this article can be read as insensitive, but it has a very valid point – in my opinion.
This is an absolute joke!
Its funny because I have never met Dan in person, but I have gained lots of insight over the last few months, reading his writings. I think Dan is being very honest and brave, when he confesses his past baggage, and to sometimes speaking in ways that cause uncomfortable. After you read more of Dan’s writings, and try to understand where he is coming from, I think you may also, as I do, appreciate and learn from this post. With that said, I disagree with what he writes sometimes (read that as often or rarely – its all relative)
“In the other posts directed to Gary Nelson, you can see support for him, and still a clear stance against this event.” Why cant a person just talk about the issue? What if something is negative? Why does someone have to go off topic, and mix in some compliments, before its considered worthy of reading? Are we that delicate, that we cant read criticism?
Grace? I love the responses calling for grace that say things like, “this post is dick and apparently so are you,” or, “I find your lack of faith disturbing.” When I say I love those response, I am being sarcastic. The real emotion I feel is embarrassment.
oh shoot, I didnt say anything nice about the people blasting Dan yet… I hope you read this anyway.
This is a terrible, heartbreaking contribution to the discussion. Gary Nelson is a personal friend, and I know that neither he nor I would respond to a grieving brother or sister in this way. Nathan, I regret your lapse in judgment in posting this and hope that you begin to sense that you’ve crossed the line. I’m sure you will, and look forward to your apology to Gary.
There are times to make a point, and times to keep silent. The Bush breakfast was cancelled. Now is the time for moves toward reconciliation.
Mark, while I don’t agree with all the things and techniques of Dan I don’t see how me exercising my own personal opinion on each article helps this free speech thing. I’m actually hoping people like yourself submit alternative letters so I can post those as well.
While I don’t think that George Bush should be brought in by the school to speak with anything that is connected to the school, and some of the objections that I have read on this has valid points. Like some of the actions of Bush’s goverment dong things which are not Christian, why are we attacking Dr. Nelson, and seeing how this would have also had to be aproved by the board. Plus have we forgotten that we should love everyone no matter if you agree with them, and not attack someones reputation to undermine them. Jesus never attacked anyones personally just their practices.
I agree that George Bush should not be brought in to speak at a Tyndale sponsored, we should not even be attack him as personally just the choices he made while in office.
Dan I have known you since our frosh year at the school and I am dissappointed in your personal attack of Dr. Nelson, we should be loving him instead as love in the best way
Stonewall!!!
So very good to see your name again. Shoot, man, it’s been a long time. I hope you’re well — feel like your goalie skills can match mine yet?
More to the point, I think that a number of people who have commented on this site have a very odd understanding of love — one that doesn’t seem to align with love as it is described in the B.I.B.L.E. I’ll post something about that in the next 24hrs.
Until then, much love to you.
ughhhh dan don’t bother making another post. this post has done enough damage and caused enough pain and division, we don’t need a sequel.
While initially I was on board with this petition, I am now feeling remorse over that decision. I am against some of the things that George Bush stands for, but I am even more against what this has turned into. It has turned into something that has fully divided the community at Tyndale, both current and past. As a fourth year student at the school, it saddens me to see the state the community is in right now. There is anger, confusion, and frustration and I am at a loss as to how this could have been blown up so much. An article I read earlier compared Tyndale’s decision to accommodate Mr. Bush to Judas’s betrayal of Jesus for money. This is completely absurd and such an extreme argument does not make sense in this context whatsoever. This article as well disgusts me. To call into question a man’s character who has time and time again proven himself to be fully devoted to the furtherance of God’s kingdom and has impacted my life as a student and a follower of Christ in such a short amount of time is appalling. Dan, I hope you get to have a peaceful conversation with Dr. Nelson at some point and come to realize the incredible integrity of this man. I know that the event has now been cancelled but I wish that my name be taken off the petition. I no longer wish to be in support of this movement. Yes, I realize the inconsistencies of this, but I also recognize the manipulation of this petition as well. I pray that the model of peaceful living that you originally advocated will begin to be shown in the articles posted on this site.
Hi Jake,
I’ve been trying to meet with Gary. it’s just that he has refused to respond to me in any way whatsoever. I hope you’re right about him, but it sure is odd that he absolutely refuses to offer any sort of response (up until now).
and what makes you think you deserve a response? it’s bizarre to me that being a former student who has tried to bully his way into a conversation with the president makes you that you are entitled to or deserve a response.
Hey Matt,
I’m not saying I “deserve” a response — I never knew Christianity was about getting what we “deserve.” I’ve got my ideological and tactical reasons for engaging the way I have and Gary has his ideological and tactical reasons for refusing to engage in the way that he has. That’s the fact of the matter. Questions of who “deserves” what are misplaced and are also somewhat odd in the context of a discussion taking place within a community of people who affirm a religion based upon grace. Far from thinking about what I “deserve,” I see this conversation as being one that has provided Gary, and the Tyndale Board along with others day, with an opportunity… but it’s up to them to choose how they do or do not engage it.
As for your other comment above, well, let’s hope that any “pain” felt are growing pains. Sometimes it is hard to be confronted with our own complacency in relation to the sufferings of others (Lord knows, it was hard for me to confront that in my own life), but unless we are confronted with that, we do not have the opportunity to grow in Christlikeness, empathy, and solidarity with the crucified people of today (to borrow the language of those like Jon Sobrino, who has also stated: extra pauperum nulla salus).
Grace and peace to you and yours.
But Dan your post implies that you deserve a response. It communicates the ridiculous notion that Gary forced your hand to write this article because he would not respond to you. No matter how you try to spin it (and please, the idea that you were simply and wonderfully providing tyndale an ‘opportunity’ makes me gag – who are you to provide such a thing?) that’s how it comes across. You need to stop trying to cover your own ass and take some responsibility.
ok dan but you ignored the rest of my post. someone who has been out of the Tyndale for 8 years sure has a lot to say. Maybe you better educate yourself on the ones you are accusing.
excellent point Jake! I’d also like to point out a trend that Dan responds to everything eloquently (though without ever saying anything or addressing anyone’s concerns) but it seems when he’s stumped he just disappears. I think he knows he’s wrong but can’t admit it.
Matt, you don’t know Dan. Dan is passionate. Everything he does, and has done for Tyndale, he has done with passion. I don’t really agree with what is going on here, on either side. But I can read Dan’s post to you and hear his love in them. You post a criticism. How is this different from what you are complaining of Dan doing of Dr. Nelson? He has answered you.
Matthew 5:23-24 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”
There is no deserve, but there is a mandate.
Dan, there needs to be some mediation here so that things can be made right. Contrite hearts need come together to resolve and make peace. Your love for Tyndale needs to help it grow and flourish. You are wonderful and I have always appreciated you.
Cheers! Cindy
Rule #23 of Christian blog comments – it takes 1 comment before people start telling each other they’re not being very good Christians.
Rule #24 – it takes 0 comments before everyone starts praying for everyone.
From an outsider’s perspective, the OP raises a pretty good challenge, (most of) the rest of you don’t actually address the challenge and sound like a bunch of…well…Christians.
i am embarrassed and ashamed at the rhetoric and perhaps misplaced idealism that creates harm rather than the good it intends.
Deciding motive and accusing is not yours to do, it is only Gods and it seems as if you have set your self up as a new god.
I regret ever signing this petition. Though I have reasons to agree that Bush should not have been associated with Tyndale, the measures you have taken this to are appalling and immature. To attack a fellow brother is not Christ-like, and I simply pray that this foolishness stops. If I could find a way to remove my name from this, I would.